Equal Work for Equal Pay

This post was written as a response to a facebook post. It may not make sense right away.

For many women, time at work is balanced with their time to be a mom. That is what they want. For some, it's a necessity for them to work, and for others it's just what they want. The Odom on factor is that they all want to be with their kids. Men want to be with their kids too, of course. But it's a social norm that dads generally don't take time off of work ****because***** it is generally accepted that mom will. Many women accept this. And it affects their pay. Women are seen as "less focused" on the career track, and therefore less qualified. It doesn't have anything to do with their intelligence or ability. It has everything to do with their commitment to kids first over job. I'm not saying that men out their jobs over their kids. Just that, when a man has the option of giving the kids' mom the responsibility of being the "go to" parent, then dad can focus on what he sees as his duty with regard to the family: providing the main financial support. I think, for feminists, the idea is that women ***should **** be independent and equal in that same way that men are. If the woman is serious about her career, then she *should* have the option of sharing the care of the children with her husband, so they both take time off work when the kids need care and it's not just her career that "suffers", but his as well. I think feminists see that men resist this idea, and they are saying it isn't right. For a mom who believes that its better for women to be home with her kids, the argument is silly. Why is the mom working at all? Why would she be serious about a career if she wasn't serious about having children? If there is no financial *need* (not want) for her to work, why would she choose that? So the feminist argument in that case has zero relevance to them. But for many recognize that they have skills and talents that they see as valuable and *necessary* to bring to the workplace. Men just don't have the same qualities as women. They would agree wholeheartedly with the "different but equal" idea. And those differences are what will help our society become healthy again. They think what they're doing is her best way. My question is --- what other way, besides having a job or being a government representative (which would also take moms away from home for a long time) can women make significant impact on the society? Yes, I know raising children will. As king as the woman raises the child with a knowledge of what needs to change in society. And for a woman to have that knowledge, she needs Ron be educated -- not necessarily with a degree or diploma (though that helps tremendousl), but by being involved in the community. By learning about what people's concerns are, what the laws are, etc. I know women *can* learn these things and gain this education in a variety of ways besides having s job. In fact, having a job might prevent the women from learning as much as she needs to know about her community to know where best to focus her attention as she is teaching her children. And the woman needs to be well educated enough to be able to think critically, think through different arguments, and think outside of the box, and know how to influence people in a way that she will effectively lead them to elevate their dreams and their behavior. It's a pretty tall order. It's what motherhood is meant to be. And many women are not capable of this ideal, because they don't have the education, or they have to work at a low paying job, and they have kids, and they live in a society or community that is less than ideal for raising children and getting kids good education and adequate health care and nutrition. More and more women are becoming aware of the need to raise their vision and "up their game" as mothers, but they have circumstances that make it challenging to achieve those goals. I believe feminists wants to help with that endeavor. They may Be going about it not exactly in th best way. and the everyday woman who doesn't identify with feminism could help feminism by understanding what they're really trying to do (I don't mean extremist feminists) and sharing ideas for how to achieve the goals in a way that isn't outside of the "man's world" solution, i.e., working at a job or being a government representative.

A Culture of Victimhood

After the 2016 election results, I listened to a podcast about the effect that the election had on Clinton supporters. I listened carefully to the women's concerns. I didn't understand the emotions these women were having. I wanted to understand them. I can sympathize with the feelings they professed. I have these feelings myself. Yet I could not connect emotionally, though I bent my mind to it and searched my heart to discover the tender feelings of sympathy with one who has been wronged.

Then the podcast host told the story of a woman in Utah. I live in Utah. I grew up here, moved away after college, and recently returned. I had heard of the woman being interviewed. I was sure she was truly concerned about the status of women in our culture.

Then the host said some things that turned a key in my mind. I don't care to recall the exact words, as I do not care to cite the podcast. The idea being put forth was that women in Utah are oppressed by a patriarchal society and an oppressive religious majority that limits women's freedoms.

Whether or not those claims are true is not my current focus.

The key that turned in my head was that the podcast producers had designed their stories to garner sympathy for victims of oppressive male domination. As a woman living in Utah, having received a modest college education, having traveled the world and around the United States, and then having returned to the state of Utah, I am assured that I am not a victim. Nor do many of my fellow women living here feel like victims. Even those who agree that we live in a paternalistic, oppressive, religiously-dominated culture do not feel like victims. 

Why, I questioned, were the podcast hosts, not to mention the feminist-minded women in Utah, trying to make victims out of people who do not feel like victims? Do they believe that the rest of us educated, world-travelled women are blind to our victimhood? What do they hope that we will gain by accepting that we are victims?

I wrote an email to this effect to the general email listed on the homepage for the podcast. I didn't expect to hear back from them, and I moved on.

Today, however, I read something that brought my previous experience into a little clearer focus. The article was about women who claim they have been raped, their cases have been evaluated, and their claims of rape have been dismissed. Here's one of the author's conclusions: 

"The damaged credibility of fake victims tends to undermine the credibility of real victims."

This is relevant to how I felt about the post-election podcast. I am not a victim of a paternalistic religion. Trying to make me into one is damaging to those women who actually are.

At the end of the article, the author theorized that some of these "fake victims" are influenced by people with an "anti-rape culture" agenda. The conclusion of the article could be the conclusion of my own experience with the podcast:

"It’s a system which systematically preys on and exploits the emotional vulnerability of young women in order to use them as publicity fodder for an ideological agenda."

Quotes from "'Rape Culture' and Feminism's Sexual Exploitation of Women" by Robert Tracinski. http://thefederalist.com/2015/02/10/rape-culture-and-feminisms-sexual-exploitation-of-women/

Another view of this situation: 

"I agree with William Layne that broader societal trends shouldn’t excuse what is often, plain and simple, malicious behavior. He is certainly correct that false accusers are not “cogs in a cultural machine.” They are individuals with agency—whether they admit it or not—with a wide range of complex motivations. However, I do think the larger sexual confusion on campus causes young women to engage in an activity they truly are not ready for and, even worse, don’t fully comprehend, with disastrous results." -- Heather Wilhelm, https://www.commentarymagazine.com/articles/feminism-and-rape-culture/