Spiritual Benchmarks

I found a great picture for this post, but it is copyrighted. You can see it here. (You might have to right click on the link to open it.)

Paraphrasing and expounding on a point made in the Relief Society lesson the week before Christmas: There are spiritual benchmarks that we reach. [Another word for benchmark is milestone.] Often, as we are approaching the pinnacle of our efforts, we begin to doubt our abilities. We get discouraged when we look at others and feel that they are "higher up" on their peaks than we are. We wonder why we haven't met the benchmark that others seem to have already mastered. "Perhaps there is something wrong with me," we might think to ourselves.

But there is nothing wrong. Everyone has to experience the pain of growth as we approach our individual spiritual benchmarks. None of us is allowed to fly over the obstacles on the mountain. The pain we are feeling is evidence that we are on the right path.

Deer Near Miss

Tonight as I was driving the baby sitter home, I almost hit a deer. A short time earlier, I had a distinct thought that I should slow down. Even though I was having an energetic conversation with Heather, I remember that thought very clearly, and I automatically slowed down as soon as the thought occurred to me.

I would like to believe that this was the Spirit whispering to my spirit, though nothing in my emotional experience of the situation would indicate a supernatural force at work. Except perhaps that lucid thought about slowing down, amidst the turmoil which is my mind when I am driving and trying to hold a conversation at the same time.

But then I saw an ornament similar to this one:

And I wondered what the deer I almost hit would think of this golden, glowing creature. Does a deer have a sense of the supernatural? Or does it regard these statues as freakish abnormalities that should be avoided at all costs? Or, does it not even recognize the abstract visual representation of a foreign species?

Conversation with the 2 year old

Naomi: I want a pantsess.

Me: A what?

N: A pants-ess.

M: I don't understand what you're saying.

Naomi (louder): A PAN-CESS.

Me: Did you say a pantsess?

Naomi: I don't understand what you're saying.

Update: The conversation above occurred at bedtime. This morning, I asked Naomi what she was talking about. She took me to the medicine cabinet and repeated: "pancess." She wanted a bandaid on the owie on her chin. (We call bandaids "bandages" in our house.)

Random spiritual thoughts

1. A thought regarding the covenant to give my time and talents to the work of the Lord:

Learning to nurture children with a Christian philosophy most definitely falls into the category of giving of my time and talents to furthering the work of the Lord on the earth. It seems mundane and obvious now that I write it out, but since I never realized this fact, or felt the emotional impact of it, it is not mundane to me now. 

At times I wish I could be doing grander things. Just a short time before I became a mother, I was a missionary. I never doubted that the work I was doing was what the Lord wanted me to do. But as a mother, it is much easier to doubt. Teaching a child to pray is obviously in keeping with the Christian tradition. But can my children feel, through my prayers, the great love and admiration that I have for the Savior? And for that matter, can I feel that love myself on a regular basis?

2. Moses 7:62 ". . . and righteousness and truth will I cause to sweep the earth as with a flood, to ^dgather out mine elect from the four quarters of the earth. . .that my people may gird up their loins, and be looking forth for the time of my coming. . ."

Reading that verse today, it occurred to me that girding up my loins is what I am doing every time I rededicate myself to living the gospel. Every time I fall off the gospel horse and lay in the mud for a time, the decision to get back on is equivalent to girding up my loins. Every time I wonder if my friends and family who have left the church are in a better position than I am, the decision I make to hold on a little longer is the same as girding up my loins.

Living far away from friends and family in a neighborhood with no other believers of my faith (aside from my husband) is proving to be quite a test of my choice to be a disciple of Christ. Of course the ward family makes that choice a little bit easier, but it is a large ward with a huge youth program and very few babies. I feel I am left to myself, even when I am at church, since everyone is focused so much on youth whose testimonies are more obviously in danger of faltering. 

And, in fact, the core of my testimony does seem to be holding and proving to be solid. I know from much study and prayer that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, and that Joseph Smith was telling the truth about the vision he had. I know, moreover, that to continue in obedience to the commandments requires not just a testimony of the truth, but that I must perform the actions of faith to actively strengthen that testimony. Things such as scripture study, prayer, attending church meetings, etc., etc. 

So I wonder, would it be any easier to perform those actions if I lived in a more supportive environment? Or would that supportive environment merely accelerate my descent into apostasy?

Mushrooms!

I love mushrooms. Jon inoculated some logs last year and we have been awaiting a harvest. Here is a meal we made today from the very first mushrooms. It was fantastic!

Served over a bed of barely rice, and fried green tomatoes on the side.

Speaking Southern

Well, I don't know if it is because we live in the South, or if it is because she is just two years old. Whatever the cause, however, we find this vocal inflection a bit disturbing.

Green Tomatoes

Who knew how many things you can make with green tomatoes?! Besides the famous southern fried treat, I've learned to make the tomatoes into a puree and incorporate it into spice bread. I've made a simple vegetable soup with optional ham or bacon. And, I haven't tried this yet, but I've heard it makes a tasty mock apple pie.

So, in this jobless season here in the Wilson family, we are reaping an abundant, edible harvest of fruits that didn't even ripen. The Lord surely does take care of his own.